Not there yet

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In the morning Linda, Sandra and Mark, three juggling friends, came round to have a look at a juggling space with me. It’s for an event that’s hopefully a long way in the future, although we may hold another event there in the meantime. Watch this space. They loved the space and also the people who run it. They came back to my place for some tea and to chat some more. I walked quite well this morning, unaided. When it came to talking I was struggling, losing my breath with every utterance.

My brother Martin and his girlfriend Jane came round for lunch. Martin cleared some of his stuff out of my room, which was great. Also it was lovely to spend the afternoon with them. In the evening, I invited Brendan, Darren and Mike round to my place rather than go to the pub. Mike was unable to make it as he had been away for the weekend. Darren and Brendan did come. I was still struggling talking, but had a good evening in their company.

I have not been eating well recently. Having managed to eat something in the afternoon, I brought it back up again in the evening. I was then very weak, but needed the toilet. It took me a while to get up the stairs. I nearly fell over in the bathroom. Mum called the out of hours nurse. The nurse suggested that an on call doctor come and give me some anti sickness drugs. I actually already had some, although I’d never had cause to use them. Nevertheless the doctor did come and check me over.

In the meantime I’ve experienced some side effects from my new drugs. The weird one is a visual effect. The first time it happened I was watching the world cup in a dark room. I didn’t have the energy to get up and turn on the light. I saw what looked like flashing blue lights reflected off the wall. I wondered if there was a police car in the back alley. There wasn’t. It was my eyes playing tricks with the reflection of the TV light off the wall. A more common effect is a kind of persistence of vision as I move my eyes. This gives everything a psychedelic look. It also gives people an ‘aura’.

Another side effect is one from morphine. However my new drug enhances the side effects of morphine. I’m getting some memory problems. For example I keep repeating myself in conversations. Here’s another example: I watched the Spain vs Chile match with Darren. We would have been talking about the game. Also it was a significant result. It was the game that knocked Spain, the world champions, and dominant force in international football, out of the world cup. A couple of hours later, my Mum asked me who had won. I couldn’t even remember who had played! Another example is I keep repeating myself in conversations…

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